Propagandic Potato

From the archive, written when I was about 18 I think. At the time I couldn't believe a humble potato could cause such a disastrous effect. Bad taste? Certainly. Enjoy.

Unlike many of its vegetable cousins,
The Potato has a unique attribute
In that besides being fodder for the average man,
It also bears the extraordinary leaning
Towards genocidal tendency.

Shocking but true,
The once-perceived ‘thicky’ of the vegetable species,
Has in recent years demonstrated its more masterful,
Homeopathic nature.

True to form,
The potato struck the Irish race in 1937,
And with one fell swoop,
Killed over four million innocent.

This blight on man by the,
Mere Potato, can be seen as catastrophic;
Staple diet for millions suddenly spiralling into
Potato warfare is not something the average man would like to see.

Indeed, due to such occurrences,
The Potato has since been charged with gross miss conduct and has faced life imprisonment;
Banished overseas for its high carbonate nature and total lack of remorse.

Lady’s and gentlemen, be afraid not of the Potato,
But think only this:
That where there be potato there be trouble,
But where there justice, there be McCain's.