Resisting the 2nd Law

Well, two more runs down and two more Muse albums under my belt.  With only two more to go to complete the Muse studio album discography this is feeling like a challenge I can realistically complete in the short term and continue to keep up the momentum going forward.

Really, this is just a form of gamification: using the intrinsic elements of a computer game (completing missions; levelling up; bonus points, etc) - something that companies and even education has cottoned on to in the last few years because it combines a short term sense of achievement, together with an over arching longer-term vision and goal.  Powerful stuff! 

Anyway, it appears to be working as I've ran far more so far doing this, and for consistently longer times: in the past, I would run for maybe 5km, once or twice a week (three if feeling particularly energised); with this, I've regularly run 6 - 7km, 3 - 4 times a week. 

Onto the album reviews and mileage updates:

Album 5: The Resistance

I am hoping this is the nadir of the collection and that everything picks up from here.  Bloody awful.  Ok - from a musical standpoint, I can see that they're trying to do something different here and I can applaud them for that at least (a slow-hand, sarcastic clap realistically).  And yes, the songs are more varied across the album than previous efforts, at least for the first half.

However, from a running point of view, it's a terrible album.  I am willing to pay a sizeable sum of money that says that Matt B bought himself a grand piano for Christmas that year.  It reminds me of when Artic Monkeys did the same thing in their last 'effort'... a total moon-shot away from their original sound, and worse of all, just plain boring and self indulgent.

It didn't help that the last three tracks were essentially one long classical suite... I'm not sure if you've ever attempted to run to classical music, but assuming you haven't (because surely you're not that stupid), the indulgent sweeping sounds of classical piano for well over the last 12 minutes of your run is less than ideal, shall we say.  It's a shame because 'Unnatural Selection' is unashamedly brilliant (well, the first four minutes of it anyway) and makes you feel like you can genuinely take on the world whilst listening to it... probably one of my favourite Muse songs.  

But yeah, the album was patchy as a whole, a swamp of self indulgent piano nonsense and just pretty terrible to run to.

R rating: RR

Running time: 56 minutes
Distance: 7.3km
Calories: 571 

Fun fact: Released in September 2009, I was just beginning my second year as a teacher.

Album 6: The 2nd Law

Not much to say about this album...  It was ok.  To be honest, I wasn't really in the mood to run so that didn't exactly help my enjoyment of it.  I was hoping that it'd be an absolutely barnstormer of an album that would give me some much need energy to take on the run, but sadly it wasn't to be.  

I have to say, I preferred it to The Resistance, but then again I would have preferred running to an hour's collection of screaming cats than that again, so not really much to shout about. At least they did away with the grand piano tinkerings this time, plus the last three songs were actually pretty good and I ended the run on a high, so kudos for that.

R rating: RRR

Running time: 53 minutes

Distance: 6.9km
Calories: 543

Fun fact: The 2nd Law of course refers to the 2nd law of thermodynamics - the concept of entropy or how the universe naturally tends towards chaos over time - from a highly ordered state to a completely disordered one.  Particularly apt when reflecting on one's lifestyle choices! 

Heading down the Blackhole

Album 4: Blackholes and Revelations

Album four has arrived, meaning I'm halfway through my first running discography.  The album title's pretty apt here as I am now irreversibly sucked into blackhole of exercise at this point; however there are little revelations for me as this is probably the Muse album I am most familiar with.  

It's a great album.  I mean, who doesn't like enjoy a good old fashioned rock space opera?  There's a lot of great tracks on here, but most importantly, its style twists and turns throughout, so there's little chance of getting bored at any point (I refer you back to 'Showbiz').  Hoodoo was as close as I got - it's just plain dreary to be honest, especially when 40+ minutes into a run - however the infamous Knights of Cydonia kicks in straight after, which more than makes up for this.  I'd go as far to say that Knights is one of my top Muse tracks - I know it's overblown, but my god, it fucking rocks.  It's perfect to run to and gives you a serious shot of energy towards the final part of your run. 

Runner's rating: RRRR

Running time: 52 minutes
Distance: 6.7km
Calories: 528

Fun fact: Blackholes and Revelations was released in July 2006. At the time, I'd just finished uni and had travelled back to Thailand (where I'd previously stopped in 2002; staying with a host family and teaching English at the tender age of 19!) and then onto Australia.  I have strong memories of listening to the album repeatedly during my stint in Sydney during this time - a great time, but a strange time too as it was just me, myself and I for pretty much the entire six week period.  

Even so, I learnt to surf (with varied success - I did have to be rescued from being swept into the rocks once; plus another time I got stung by a jellyfish.  In fact, in retrospect it wasn't really that successful at all, was it?!) I also scaled the Sydney Harbour Bridge and went to not one, but two Neighbours events - meeting the legendary Toadfish Rebecci and Paul Robinson from Neighbours.  

Top of the world! Well, top of Sydney Harbour Bridge at least.

What a legend.  And Toadfish Rebecci too, of course.

I asked him to pose like this, honest! 

Fun times!

Running Time

Whilst running at the start of this week and listening to a random Muse album, I hit upon an idea that resonated with me - why don't I run for the whole album?  Shake things up a bit.  Force me to run past 5km.  And as I was completing the last couple of songs, another - why don't I keep doing this?  Why don't I run another full Muse album tomorrow. 

Wait - why don't I run for each and every Muse album - in chronological order?

And so the idea was borne - simply run for the duration of each album over the course of their back catalogue; record weight stats at the beginning and end of each completed discography and measure my progress that way. 

Specifically, the rules of 'Running Time' are:

1) You must start with the first (studio) album of a given band

2) You must run for the full duration of each album

3) No skipping of songs allowed whatsoever

4) You must run all albums in sequential order, from first to last

5) You must measure and record your stats at the first album and then again at the last album

5) Rinse and repeat.

In a bid to get this blog up to date, here's my progress so far:

Chosen Artist: Muse

Total number of studio albums: 8

Album 1: Absolution 

Okay - this is not their first album.  Cheat! I have broken my rules already!  Doesn't count though, because I hadn't come up with the idea yet when I first started running to this, see?

Nevertheless, a great album, and one I'm keenly familiar with.  Released in 2003 and the year I went to Uni, I can still recall 'Time is Running Out' thumping through the speakers in our halls of residence common-room as we were all getting ready for a wild night out at the Delph (the uni's original on-site bar and club) - god, what a time to be alive!  Genuinely some of the fondest memories I have were in that first year of uni.

Anyway, post-run, weight, BMI and body fat stats recorded (sorry - they will remain redacted for the moment until I have lost enough to be able to publish them!).  

Running time: 59 Minutes
Distance: 7.3km
Calories: 583

Runners' rating (/5) RRRR

Album 2: Showbiz (actual first album)

I've never listened to this album at all before, although obviously I'd heard Muscle Museum several times before.  After listening to it for my second run, I was beginning to wish that someone had actually invented one of those Men in Black memory wipes for your ears.  No other way to put it: it was shite.  Weirdly like a poor-man's Placebo, but with none of their allure.  It genuinely put me off my run in places, to the point that I was actually shouting obscenities at the treadmill speakers  just to make me feel better.  

Muscle Museum and Sober were good but the rest was forgettable dirge.

Running time: 54 mins
Distance: 6.8km
Calories: 534 calories

Runner's rating: r (lower case deliberately as it only deserves half an 'R' at best!)

Album 3: Origin of Symmetry

Again, aside from the well known tracks on here (Plug in Baby and Feeling Good), I'd never actually listened to the full album before. On the back of their previous effort, my expectations were lower than Walter White's morals at this point, but thankfully these were very swiftly forgotten... Origin is a great album!  The first track (New Born) was instantly energising and as the tracks continued, I realised that not only was I enjoying the album, I was enjoying the run... it was easy.  Exactly what the whole of this idea was about in the first place!  I would say that the first half is better than the second, which is patchy, and again (in a 'no shit, Sherlock' revelation), Matt Bellamy is a tad SHOUTY at times.  

Nevertheless, a revelation and an album I would happily re listen to multiple times.

Fun fact: This was released in July 2001.  I was 17, about to start college, and the Twin Towers attack was just a couple of months away.  What a lifetime ago now.

Running time: 55 mins
Distance: 7km
Calories: 555 calories

Runner's rating: RRR

Right, on to Blackholes and Revelations (skipping Absolution as I've already covered that) for the next run.  See you then.

Weighting for a Change

I'm fat.  No hyperbole here (which I may be guilty of at times... I am an English teacher after all).  No - on all measurements on my scales, I am overweight.  The top three categories (weight, BMI, body fat) all say 'Too High'.  Not even just 'high', which would still be a kick between the legs.  No - too high. Bloody Bastard scales.

Honestly though, I have only myself to blame (that and lockdown; I think I can legitimately blame lockdown). Although I have cared as I've incrementally put on the pounds over the past couple of years, the truth is that I simply haven't cared enough to make a proper change.  It can be quite hard to care, in all honesty, when you're a dad; work is full-on, lockdown is back in action; yada yada.  Excuses - valid and genuine excuses, but excuses none the less.

Up until I was around 19, I was skinny; underweight if anything.  Here's a picture of me on a family holiday when I was around 15 I think... not only is there nothing on me, I appear to be channeling the aesthetic qualities of Ibiza Kids Club circa 1997.  Just awful.  However, it does illustrate the point that weight was once never an issue for me.   

19 is legitimately where it all started to go wrong.  I was lucky enough to spend a whole month with my family on holiday in Spain in July - August of that year (my nan owned a villa out there at the time).  Great for my tan, not so great on my waistline.  Before then, I'd been hovering from around 9 / 10 stone for most of my teenage years.  After the holiday, I estimate I was around 12 stone.  Oops. Then, in September of that year, I went off to the University of Lincoln.  Let's just say that freshers excesses were not kind to me either, and by the end of my first year, I was weighing in at around 13 and a half stone.  Luckily, the actual realities of university kicked in during Y2 and Y3 (read: no money), so I was able to slim down to around 11 and a half to 12 stone again.

From leaving Uni in 2006 (aged 23) to around 2017 (aged 34) my weight rollercoastered from low 11s to high 13s, down and up; round and round again.  Stop the ride mum - I wanna get off!  

The problem is, I can lose weight when I need to, I just struggle to maintain it.  I always end up reverting back to convenience and instant gratification and away from long-term changes.  Ironically, usually the catalyst is when I weigh myself and I haven't lost 'enough' weight compared with my mental expectations of how 'hard' I've been working.  So I proverbially stick two fingers up at the 'diet' / regime and then fail to get back on again before its too late.  Every. Damn. Time.

Since 2017 when I got married and was actually fairly slim, I've incrementally put on the pounds again, meaning that in the last few years, if I managed to get under 14 stone, I'd see that as a win.  How far the mighty fall!  

I remember last August, on the day we moved into our new house, feeling genuinely disgusting - visibly overweight, tired and just frankly unhealthy.  It didn't help, by any degree, that it was literally one of the hottest days of the year that day, I had a hangover from the flames of Satan and I was forced, by virtue of moving house, to lug approximately 1 billion heavy objects up, down, in and out for literally about six hours straight.  But still, a particular nadir.

Fast forward to now and I have lost some weight since then (8 or 9 pounds at a guess), however I am still way above any reasonable target weight.  All of this being a very long and rambling way of saying that I have decided enough really is enough.  The gloves are off and the (large) joggers are back on.

In the next blog, I'll outline the rules of the game and my progress so far.

Dan

Back in the (writing) Game

I've had this blog since 2009, something in itself that I find absolutely crackers.  My writing in it has been...sporadic at best.  A handful of musings, writings, poems and reflections scattered across a cluster of years.  Some I'm proud of; some I'd rather forget.  But they're all there, dear reader, should you wish to read them.  I won't stop you.

However, the time has come to get back into some form of regular writing.  I mean, just like 'traveler'; 'writer' only warrants the noun form if the verb form has regularly proceeded, right?  In other words, you can't call yourself a writer or traveler or whatever if you did it once but don't do it anymore.  The word shouldn't be a trophy gathering dust, it should be a living; breathing entity.  

I digress.  The point is, I am going to be writing more and aiming to update this blog regularly.  Or at least, more regularly than once every two years, if my past performance is anything to go by.  To be honest, blogs are odd entities, really: they are at once deeply personal and uncompromisingly open - they invite a certain vulnerability on all sides.  Probably the reason I'm so damn useless at updating it.

So to start off, I'll be writing about my new fitness venture and progress with that.  A chance to give me some accountability, share my progress and my various thoughts on the albums I listen to along the way.  

I've written several short children's stories in the past, as well as the beginning of a more adult short story (no - not that type!), so if I'm feeling brave I might upload those on here too.  I've also dipped my toe into the curious world of crypto in the last couple of years, so I might occasionally write about that too.  

If none of those things float your boat then don't read on.  

If they do - great - I guess I'll see you in the next update.

Bon!